If you start looking closely you’ll notice that all your wingmen and former players are suddenly starting to spend more and more time pairing off and finding female companionship. One of my boys put it best when he said, “I’m not trying to go the club, I just want to find something to bun up with for the winter time”. Bunning up is a term we use in the streets for basically shacking up with one girl for a period of time, slowing down your game. It’s not necessarily relationship status but it’s a higher level than friends with benefits status. As far as dating in DC goes you gotta bun up before Thanksgiving or you’re fucked. I mean after that there’s nothing left on the streets but scraps in the winter. All the real hot chicks that are worth dating get scooped up. You used to go to the club and see seven to eight dimes, in the winter you’ll be lucky if you see two. With wearing pants, and sweaters, and holiday feeding single women left will put on at least 20 pounds of blubber to keep themselves warm (its cool we all do it, well maybe not me)

• Nebraska
• Nevada

Besides having to “hog it out” an unbunned up guy has to deal with the let down of basic upkeep. It’s a scientific fact that single women shave their legs and naughty bits 85% less than women who are in relationships during the winter time. In DC alone there was 650 reported cases from men in the ER who suffered laceration to their legs and tongues from hooking up with prickly women on the one night stand tip. That’s just the reported cases; lord knows how many men were just too embarrassed to say anything. I know one of my fears of hooking up with a newbe during the winter time is the moment of truth when I have to bring it to her attention, “Excuse me Ms. But it seems that you have a chinchilla covering your labia minora”

• Florida
• Georgia

So you’ll notice that many of us guys have been on “dating frenzies”, Wednesday’s through Saturday. It’s funny because I’ve almost ran into a certain character a couple of times at some of the spots I like to take dates in DC. Us guys usually bun up till the first official sign of spring,the slutty jean mini skirt sighting. That’s when we attack the streets like blood thirsty Vikings looking to rape, plunder, and burn down a defenseless village. It gets cold out there, you start thinking to yourself, “Do I really want to drive 15 minutes, stand in line, grind up against a hairy beast”. Or you go with the other choice of free basing and jerking off to David Lynch’s Lost Highway , while you silently weep tasting the salty tears of your loneliness. Not that I’d know anything about that. For me all I’m looking for in the person I bun up with is someone who doesn’t mind watching IFC, A Woody Allen Flick, and drinking cheap red wine on a Friday night. But just in case I bought Lost Highway this past weekend.

• Kansas

The body hair thing is true! I hate when it comes time to get down to the get-down, and I have to run my hands across hairy legs. I know SOME hair is natural and I can deal with that, but when it feels like I’m stoking a kitten when I’m preparing to stroke that kitten, it’s just not sexy. The only thing worse is when a woman shaved, but hasn’t in like 5 days and that 5 o’clock shadow grows in. You can’t fuck her or eat her out because it’s like sandpaper rubbing against your cheeks/crotch. That’s enough Pussyology talk for one comment. Funny post, as usual!

• Arizona
• Illinois